I’ve been having a bit of reflecting time recently and noticed that September was a bit of a strange month for me.  I’ve experienced some good things and some not so good things.  What better way to deal with this than in a blog post!

THE HIGHS

I like to think of myself as a fairly positive person so let’s first concentrate on what’s been good about September….

Just a really nice weekend

The month started off great with the very first weekend which turned out to be an unexpected joy. On the Friday my wife and daughter were off visiting relatives for the day and ended up getting back pretty late.  This gave me a little break from the hectic “after work / pre-bedtime” schedule that is the norm.  I pottered around the house and had some precious me time until they returned. Both being shattered from their journey it wasn’t long before they were in bed leaving me alone again. PlayStation anyone?!

On the Saturday, following a stressful couple of weeks with my daughters swimming lessons, it was great to be back in a normal routine. She did brilliantly too.  The afternoon was spent with some friends and their little girl. iBear and her little pal loved playing together and it was a great catch up all round.  In the evening we decided to try a Frankie and Bennys click and collect meal, which was delicious, cheap and very filling!

After battling the usual guilt of telling iBear I couldn’t play with her I started a productive jobs day on the Sunday which involved clearing out the garage, tidying the garden and stripping a room back ready for decorating. The weekend was then finished off with a sandwich and cake filled tea at the in-laws.

Board Game weekend with the lads

September was my turn for hosting the quarterly meet up of four friends to spend a couple of days playing board games, drinking beer, eating rubbish and putting the world to rights. A detailed review of a previous one can be found here. We all have busy lives, three of which involve parenting, and it’s a perfect opportunity to let off some steam. The games list for this weekend were Mysterium, Pandemic (pictured), Hotel and Risk. Two new games and two classics.  I’d recommend all of them to any other enthusiasts out there.

Whilst I was geeking it up my wife and daughter took themselves off for a weekend of fun to Gullivers World in Warrington. iBear is fast developing a love of rollercoasters. She gets that from her Mother. It was a perfect opportunity for a bit of a bonding session for them.  Knowing they were off enjoying themselves also helped me relax a bit more.

A trip to the Peak District

My wife and I had a weekend away planned with my cousin and his wife for ages and September couldn’t come quick enough for us. We all wanted to spend some time together in a cottage in the countyside just relaxing.  Preferably with a hot tub. This cottage didn’t disappoint. Set in the Peak District, the cottage was a converted stables and was pristine throughout.

We arrived on the Friday night and after pizzas for tea jumped straight in the hot tub where we sat chatting under the stars,  Saturday, after a lazy start, we went for a walk to the local village before heading to a nearby restaurant for a delicious meal in the evening.  The hot tub beckoned again when we returned and again the following morning. We let feeling completely refreshed!

 

Despite some brilliant weekends in September unfortunately there had been some difficult periods.  So, without further ado:

THE LOWS

My Daughters transition to Year one.

We had thought the first couple of weeks of Year one were going well.  That was until one day iBear came home a little forlorn saying under her breath she didn’t like going to school anymore.  This over the course of a couple of days turned into full blown tears both on an evening and on the mornings. Her only real explanation was that she missed her Mammy and Daddy  and wanted to be with us. She also had mentioned one of her fellow pupils had been upsetting her too.  Being the sensitive soul she is it doesn’t take my Daughter much to get fully wound up and it’s been a hard few days trying to fully understand what’s been going on.

We had a chat to her teacher who insisted she’d been fine during the school day but said she’d keep an eye on her. Alongside all of this iBear had been having a few days of going through shall we say “emotional” periods.  Complaining and crying came a little too easy and she was acting a little more grumpy than usual.  I’ve put this all down to general growing pains as it’s all out of character but that hasn’t helped much when we’ve been at our wits end at times.

Mental Health matters

September has seen the return of some personal mental health issues, most notably manifesting themselves in ectopic heart beats. This culminated with a pretty scary panic attack one night which took a couple of days to recover from. By some coincidence I noticed  Tottzilla on Twitter was embarking on a mental health project. Participating in this felt a little bit like therapy and it felt good to get some thoughts down. You can read my guest post here which explains a bit about my own personal journey.

In terms of getting through this I’ve taken a few steps to try and settle myself back down, I’ve decided to cut all caffeine and alcohol out from my weekday routine as I know these can be triggers.  I’ve also gone going back to trying Kalms tablets for a couple of weeks. Even if they help via a placebo effect I’ll be happy.  Finally, I’ve downloaded Headspace and am giving the basics meditation package a go.

Writing this in October things have settled down although the odd relapse has occurred. Typically whilst I’ve been typing!

Losing my blog and social media mojo

Whilst my attitude to my blog hasn’t changed that much since I started over a year ago I have found myself struggling a little bit with what to write recently. Having read a number of posts relating to this around the blogosphere I know a lot of people go through it.  The old writers block if you will.  I try not to let it get to me too much as I’ve always taken a relaxed approach to writing. I still keep a bullet journal going and regularly write little ideas and prompts in relation to my blog.  Sometimes, I think,  the whole thing just feels a bit overwhelming.

Similarly with social media, I’m experiencing a bit of a “meh” attitude towards it.  I’m still a big fan of Twitter and am enjoying Instagram more and more but have found myself not contributing as much as I used to.  I’ve become at times one of those “scrollers” who can lose a good few mins just generally flicking through threads, contributing very little. I need to get back to basics with it all I think.

OneDadsView

What becomes immediately apparent whilst writing this is the good times in September haven’t involved a lot of Daddy Daughter time.  That instantly makes me feel guilty and I think the problem with this lies in my ability to overthink everything.  This inevitably can lead to a little anxiety. I know that being a parent is amazing but also hard and it’s important to take time out.  I’ve been lucky enough be able to do this in September.

Sometimes though it’s easier said than done.